Have you ever experienced a delay in progress during therapy just as things were improving?

Or felt stuck in life once you were close to meeting important or meaningful goals?

The term for this “stuckness” or delay is otherwise known as RESISTANCE.

In IFS therapy, resistance is seen not as a negative thing to push past or criticize, but as something to explore and bring curiosity to, from a place of self. We see resistance as an important protective part. For example, when processing trauma in therapy, a managerial part of us might want to avoid destabilization, and so try to avoid the topic. Or a firefighter part might not want to stop overeating, due to concern of exposure to intolerable loneliness. As you can see, the intention of our resistant parts is never bad or harmful.

If I were your IFS therapist, I would help you show curiosity and compassion to these parts, help explore the fears behind the resistance, and work together with these parts to take small risks and see what happens. We then avoid being in a “power struggle” with your resistant parts and move to a more cooperative stance, building trust and safety in your system.

Resistance is never the problem. We want to notice and be curious about what’s going on for the parts of us that are trying to protect us by slowing down or getting “stuck” in order to move forward.